A DREAM DIARY

STIMULUS

As part of gathering material for our experimental piece under the theme 'dreams and the subconscious', I will be documenting my dreams in a 'dream diary' for use as stimulus and inspiration for the coming term. 
Generally, I don't remember my dreams and they are never that vivid or something I can recall, and I only ever really remember my nightmares, so a lot of the material in this dream diary is quite fragmented and random as a result, and there might not be a lot of consistent dreams. 

6th January 

I had a dream that I was on overnight long haul Hogwarts train travelling somewhere and I was doing this with my mum and a couple of other family members. It was never clear where I was travelling, except I can vividly remember that for part of the dream I was walking down the middle of the train travelling through carriages in pitch darkness, and I was trying to look for my mum, but there was no sign of her. This part of the dream seemed like it carried on forever, and seemed quite desperate. 

The next part of the dream I got off the train by myself, and ended up in a corner shop where some people from theatre strand randomly popped up, but none of whom are people I am that close with, which was strange. What happened next was we were kicked out of the corner shop because the people began to mess up the shop display, and I went back into the shop afterwards to apologise to the shop manager. At this point, the 'shop' was no longer a shop, it was a restaurant, and for some reason I was apologising deeply to the man who was working in there that I was sorry that no one had dined at his restaurant, and was reassuring him that it would be okay because he had 'good vibes' and a 'warm spirit'. Interestingly, I think that this stemmed from a deep rooted sadness I get generally when I see shop owners or restaurants without business. In response, the man thanked me and gave me a rose, and then I left the restaurant and was on a street on my own. It was dark at this point.

I remember that I got my phone out to try and navigate where I was and it was on 5%. I then realised I was in North London, an area I'm  familiar with at all. I ended up getting lost in a massive maze like park in Walthamstow, which had really weird multiple exits. At this point within the dream I was panicking. I bumped into this man who then triggered a recurring dream I had previously. I ran up to the man and was chasing him to grab his attention and he referenced what had happened in my recurring dream in which this random man made me pregnant, and then the location changes to an abandoned corridor or back room in a corner shop.  At this point I figure out I am truly pregnant, which was weird as the night before I had also had another dream about being pregnant. Within the dream I realise I have been kidnapped by this man, and I am being held captive within the corner shop. The police randomly arrive, and ask me if I want him to be arrested to which I reply 'yes'. We're brought to the front of the shop and then the police begin to set fire to it. This part is reminiscent of th recurring dream as then the police get a pig and murder it right in front of us, which I keep dreaming about. The man starts throwing up relentlessly in response to the murder of the pig, and then the police disappear. The next thing I know, the guy is beginning to transform into a grotesque extra-terrestial creature and he is swelling up and growing bigger and bigger until he is like a ball of alien substance. I am terrified as he is shouting at me that 'it's your fault' and I run out of the shop. The nightmare ended there as I woke up, extremely scared.

This is one of the worst nightmares I've had in a long time, and I told my friend about it at 5am when I woke up, which is how I've had it documented. 

18th January

I had a dream that I was staying in an Air BnB house with Stash, Ruby, Aaron, Ivo, Abby and a few other people. I remember the house was massive and had multiple storeys and I remember that in the dream I was walking up to the top floor which was a balcony kitchen. For some reason in my memory, the vision of a saucepan is really prevalent, I don't know why.

The next part seems random, but I'm convinced it happened in the same dream. It consisted of me opening a really extensive school report but it was only based on my progress in theatre. When I read it though, it wasn't really a school report, it was like an assessment of my character written by a few of the theatre teachers. It was quite intense as a dream because the report was roasting me essentially, saying that as a person I was 'too sad' and this sadness was affecting everyone else. The next part of the dream was equally as random, and I ended up outdoors with the same theatre teachers who had written the report, and it basically turned into a nightmare. What had been written in the report became more pronounced to me and became increasingly intense and frightening, and then I woke up. 

21st January 

I had a dream that I went to a house party in the Monsters Inc factory with Ivo, and that part I can't remember, except the next day we were trying to get to school, which consisted of getting the bus and then the tube. 

We were waiting at the bus stop, but a bus wasn't coming. A while later, a really strange little bus arrived and it said that it was only stopping at Victoria, so we both got on. The bus was packed full of really strange people, and Ivo's editing teacher for FMP is also on the bus. At this point we're running really late to school. The bus came to a stop, and four men in suits got on the bus and they start yelling for everyone to be quiet. They then reveal that they're from a charity and start lecturing everyone on the bus about it, and then we get off the bus. We walk all the way to Victoria and Google Maps keeps glitching out, so we have to keep guessing which way to go. Eventually we get to school and school has finished and we missed the day. Then I woke up. 

28th January
I had a dream that I was on holiday with my parents and my boyfriend in a city, but in the first part of my dream my friend Rufus was also there for a brief moment. In the beginning of the dream, we were in a supermarket which looked like the foreign alternative of Sainsburys (very identical to Sainsburys). We were going around Sainsburys and Rufus was pushing a trolley and putting various foodstuffs into his trolley, but he was insisting that I had to record a time lapse on his phone of him doing this the whole time we were in the supermarket. I remember in the dream I didn't question it, and just did as he asked me to, until eventually his phone was only on 20% which wasn't enough battery to record a time lapse according to his phone. I hand Rufus back his phone, and suddenly I'm with Ivo and we've left the supermarket and we're now sightseeing this unknown city and looking in museums and galleries.
As we do this, the landscape is very beautiful and perfect. It is winter, and we're warm and layered up in lots of clothing. The sky is a beautiful blue and we keep staring at it, and there are fairy lights strung across all the buildings. We are standing outside a museum admiring the view and a man with a skinhead and piercing blue eyes, as well as a denim jacket, approaches us and asks us many questions about us. He asks us if he want to be involved in a photo-shoot there and then, and we agree and follow him down the street. We end up in a building where we have to walk up these perfect white flights of stairs and we finally arrive in this smallish room where a meeting is going on between the manager of this modelling company and all the recent scouts. Me and Ivo are reasonably confused, because the range of people in this room is quite bizarre - there's a baby as well as a Japanese instagram model/singer called Rina Sawayama and everyone is greeting eachother in different languages, adding to our bewilderment. The woman running the meeting looks like Elaine the Pain from Tracy Beaker but she has very curly hair, and she's getting very annoyed at the baby who isn't listening to her talk.
Nothing else really happened in the dream except a vote was taken for me and Ivo to become models, and then I woke up.

30th January
I dreamt that I was seeing a play in the West End with Stash, Aaron, Fergal and Angèle (a weird person to be in my dream since I am not close with her at all and she is in another strand). The beginning of the dream was me on my way to this theatre, and I was with Luke Martin and Laila and we were running late. When we got to the theatre, we were running late so we had to wait in the foyer and look at the monitor and there was very loud music being blasted, which I think was Radiohead. We had to wait for an appropriate time to go and take our seats as the play commenced, and when this moment finally came a massive crowd of us went into the theatre but at this point the lights were up and there was no one on stage, so it was like the play had paused or hadn't started yet. The theatre was extremely wide but there was massive pilons around the tiers so there was only a small strip of seats in the theatre that weren't restricted view.  I was sat with Stash and Aaron and because we were sat in a strictly restricted view area, we could hardly see anything. The play began shortly after, but the lights stayed on for a bit, and then it got extremely pitch black. There didn't seem to be any actors on stage from what I remember, but there was films and projections being projected on stage. Meanwhile, there were these guards who were walking up and down almost monitoring the audience. They were quite intimidating from what I remember. Not long after the play started, the guards began to shoot these pistols into the air that made loud noises and the lights of the theatre ame back on. They insisted that they'd heard two phone ringtones, and as a result they had to confiscate everyone's phones. At this point, Angèle was sat next to me, and we both gave our phones into an extremely sarcastic and intimidating security guard. I remember I had an argument with this security guard because he wouldn't believe that my phone was on airplane mode, and therefore couldn't have been making sounds, but I was lying the whole time. For some reason, although it seemed as though Angèle had given her phone in, a few moments later we were taking selfies in her phone. The dream ended up with me and Angèle in McDonalds, but we weren't having anything that is actually on the McDonalds menu - we were eating sweet potato fries from Gourmet Burger Kitchen. 

4th February
I woke up crying from a very traumatising nightmare, which was strange because in the nightmare I was crying to. The nightmare seemed very short, and it happened at around 6.30 in the morning after I woke up and went back to sleep, and then I woke up at 7.45 again. I had an argument with my dad in this dream about some school work, and it got so heated to the point where he said he wanted to kill me and wanted me to die, and started calling me a retard. The nightmare was intense as I vividly remember that my whole family weren't helping or defending me: my brother was laughing at me, my brother's girlfriend was paying no attention and was on her phone and my mum was half ignoring the chaos and half brushing over it. This is all I can remember.